Sunday Story: Dancing, Music, and Leadership

I have a confession to make in this week’s Sunday Story. I’m a 6’1 fella that at the best of times looks like I should have a giant blue Oxen following me around (that’s a Paul Bunyan joke and I’m genuinely not sure how well that’ll land so I’m going to overexplain it with these parenthesis). I love cars and motorbikes, camping and adventures, and generally would be regarded as a pretty typical Canadian male. And everyday, I know that to be my best self, I have to toss on some music and cut some rug, embodying my inner twinkle-toes while I do a little dance and move my body in whatever way the music makes me want to do it.

That’s weird, and I know it. Most people in the heteronormative, European-dominant culture in which I live generally only dance at night clubs in their late teens and 20s, and maybe occasionally at a wedding or a Christmas party. That’s my perception of what society regards as “normal” for a guy like me, and I’m comfortable being a bit outside that label (some who know me well would probably say "...just a bit?”). My overall point here is if you met me and judged me by my appearance, you’d probably assume I listen to Joe Rogan and watch the hockey highlights every day. But I don’t have time for that, because I’m carving out time for dancing.

It’s something I’ve done most of my life. I remember in College, a very dear friend and colleague (We were RAs together) was having a bad day, so they were the first to know of my secret - I sent them a video to cheer them up and let them know that for whatever reason, tossing on the Pointer Sisters and busting a move like Hugh Grant in Love Actually was a sure fire way to improve one’s lot in life. (I promise we’re connecting this into leadership - just hang in there).

Music - and moving your body to music - is a fundamentally human experience. Our ancient ancestors relied on bone flutes and hide drums to create rhythms; while these compositions are lost to time, scholars believe that dancing was likely associated with these instruments and likely began millennia ago as a form of ritual. I suspect that’s a western-focused interpretation; those of us in European-descendent countries tend to need a “reason” to dance – a ball, or a performance - and it’s not uncommon for our dancing to have all kinds of rigid rules that prevent a true expression of self. This divide is not new – the regimented, sophisticated, and complex moves that are associated with courts in the Middle Ages or the Baroque period, where folks with powdered wigs did their bows and on-time twirls as was expected of the higher classes, so there’s long been a divide between “dancing” like that and the kind of dancing I’m talking about. Remember, the dancing of the elite during these periods also coincided with who was recording history, so it makes sense that our impression of dancing during these periods relies on these structured methods and expressions. On the other hand, common folks have tended to just move the way that makes sense for them based on how the music makes them feel pretty much throughout history, and that’s the kind of dancing I’m talking about.

I don’t go much for the formal “learn the moves” dancing - I tend to be more inspired by the Elaine from Seinfeld approach, which as I’ve said is to just move to the music. And, on that note - what a thing: To play someone’s dance moves as a joke is, in effect, to shame people for moving the way they feel is right. Don’t get me wrong, it was funny, but I also think it’s reflective of a harmful attitude in our society: that the way someone chooses to express themselves physically is something worthy of ridicule if it’s not done in the right way, instead of recognizing this expression as something worthy of admiration. I dare anyone reading this to truly go and dance like no one’s watching – toss in your airpods and go to your local shopping mall. Go ahead, this article will be here when you get back. You aren’t gonna do it, are you? Probably not – because it’s hard and scary, and that’s because of the attitude I’m referencing here.

Dancing has tons of benefits to the human machine - of course it does, we’ve been doing it for as long as we’ve been humans! - but the scholarship on this is really fascinating. Dancing is a form of exercise, so it floods you with endorphins and other feel-good chemicals. It activates the brain’s reward system which means it helps release dopamine, and learning how to move in a way that feels good repeatedly - like nailing the Shopping Cart move after a bit of practice with your own unique flourish - contributes to neuroplasticity, or the ability to learn new things. It can be a social activity, which enhances our connections to others too. For me, I tend to do it on my own, but this is definitely a factor for folks who are attending classes or organized dance activities. Dancing is not just physical - it’s cognitive, where you have to give some level of attention to the rhythm, the space you are in, and the way you are placing your feet and moving your hands. It’s also been recognized as a great way to induce a “Flow State” - where your worries are minimized, time feels suspended, and instead of focusing on other things, you’re focused on “flowing” through the moment and doing your best work.

If you think about it, the impacts of dancing on anxiety makes sense. If you define anxiety as a feeling of unease or worry in response to perceived threats or stress, then of course dancing will short-curcuit that response.

Empathize with your inner self for a moment, and imagine this process:

“Huh. I’m really worried. I have that report due and if I do a bad job my boss will be really upset. The mortgage renewal is due and eggs are $8 a dozen and I’m getting the feeling my partner isn’t happy with how I’m able to contribute to the relationship. If I am not able to rectify this situation maybe they’ll — wait…What’s going on….why is the body dancing? Doesn’t he know we have shit to worry about???? Oh it’s still dancing….it wouldn’t be dancing if it knew about these worries that I have….maybe….maybe it’s dancing because I don’t need to have these worries. We wouldn’t be dancing if there was a threat after all. That’s a good beat. Actually - turn that shit up. Let’s dance”

The above happens to me - I can feel the transformation when I start shaking my groove thing in the bathroom in the morning during my usual routine. But for a long time, I didn’t do this part of my daily ritual. It wasn’t the “done thing” you see, and so I just stopped doing it, and that’s how things were until I had an experience that reminded me of the power of my daily dance. While the full story is going to be saved for another Sunday, I will share this: Things came to a head for me and my wellness, and I needed to take some time to be well again. That process is what showed me the importance of my daily ritual (amongst a few other practices), and I came back to work after about a month off with a renewed sense of what matters and what the most important things in life are.

I was incredibly lucky to be able to take this time, and it all comes back to a particular leader who is likely reading this Sunday Story. This leader didn’t blink when I told them what that I needed to step back for my mental health - quite the opposite; they paved the way and made sure it was possible for me to do so without a second thought to my work responsibilities. My journey back to wellness was the hardest thing I’ve ever done (and trust me it took a lot more than a 4-on-the-floor beat), but it was also hard on my leader and my team. And here’s where we bring our leadership lessons in.

When I returned, I shared with my leader how successful my journey had been, but also how hard it was, and that I needed to really re-commit to some practices for my wellbeing. I shared with them my dancing practice (amongst a few other things that I do every day to maintain my wellbeing). After sharing my story with my leader, a few days later was our first team meeting since my break, and I remember it today as if it just happened. At the time, my team of senior leaders was small - there was just a handful of us, and we were all working remotely. I remember feeling so incredibly grateful to be there and to be feeling well to begin with - my journey to wellbeing was profoundly impactful and powerful - and I was feeling the best I had felt in a very long time.

At the end of the meeting, my leader did something I didn’t expect. They shared a link in the chat with all of us, and told us that it was up to us whether we wanted to participate or not, but that the last few minutes of our team meeting would be dedicated to dancing. They shared the reasons much like I’ve shared with you above - not by sharing my personal story, but by letting people know that this would be good for stress, connection, and generally would be a positive experience. They let folks know that they could engage in the activity in the way that felt right, including turning cameras off and doing their own thing. It’s important to note that my team didn’t know why this activity was happening – not all of them knew about my story – but regardless, the activity started, and we danced together.

In our home offices, sharing a connection via Microsoft Teams, in an atmosphere that was about as far removed from a club or a wedding that you can get, we danced. It was more than a gesture - it was a beautiful metamorphosis where we felt the weight of our major work troubles melt away for a brief moment and we just embraced this experience of connection; from the outside looking in it probably would raise some eyebrows, but we weren’t concerned about the eyebrows of others. We were sharing a beautiful moment of humanity and connection, the likes of which I’ve never had at work before or since.

This isn’t just a story about me dancing every day - sure, if you want to adopt that practice, I encourage you to do so because it’s great! But this story isn’t about that. It’s about a leader who moved heaven and earth for the wellbeing of their people, and cemented that commitment in the way that worked for those they were leading. This story encompasses everything that makes a great leader: Empathy. Listening. Stepping into ones growing edge to try something new. Leading by example. Creating safety for those you lead who may not want to participate. Accountability. Connecting to one’s core values and making sure they show up. Bringing fun into work. Making sure that leadership isn’t about the jobs of the people you lead - it’s about the humans they are, in every part of their lives.

I’m inspired every single day by this leader even years after I stopped reporting to them. This dancing story is just one of dozens I could tell you about how this leader showed up for their people every single day. By showing up they absolutely changed peoples lives for the better, and those people are paying it forward to others, and on and on; their actions have had ripples in time that are resonating continuously today. That’s the impact of good leadership folks - a great leader’s influence echoes and reverberates through those they lead long after their direct leadership role has ended.

The key thing here is courage - lots of leaders I know would probably have the idea that my leader had. But only my leader had the courage to make that idea a reality (And this wasn’t the only time - their ability to take a concept and manifest it into existence for the betterment of all is one of the hallmarks of their career as they do it time and time again). This example is one I try to emulate, and it’s one we try to share with others through Authentik.

Great leaders change people. Changed people change the world. Therefore, great leaders change the world. Be a great leader - and if you’re trying to figure out how to do that, start with a little dance to clear your mind.

We’re telling this story for another reason today: we firmly believe that work should be fun, and candidly we’ve been tracking a few major disruptors that are going to add stress to all of us. We’ve got some tough conversations ahead of us - Artificial Intelligence, economic pressures, technological revolutions - all of these things are adding stress to the shoulders of leaders, and not everyone is lucky enough to have a leader like I did who would listen, care, share the burden, and ultimately choose to engage in an activity that would help ease it for the whole team.

(And in case I’m not doing the story justice – it’s not just the dancing. My entire life as I know it today traces back to the support of that leader, and to say that me and my family are grateful for it is an understatement.)

So, here’s what we’re going to do: On occasional Fridays, we’re going to be posting on our social media feeds a “Leadership Lyric”. The Leadership Lyric is going to be a little ear worm around midday that we’re going to post, and each song is going to be curated for the poetic power of the lyrics and how they relate to your leadership. It’s not meant to be a big thing or a massive campaign that will "buy the world a Coke and teach us all to sing". It’s just meant to be a little pause at the end of your week so you can engage that primal, human side of yourself at your desk or workspace - even if it's just a head bob - and have a little bit of fun while you reflect on what the bards of humanity have to say about the human condition and your leadership practice.

We’re going to start today with the song that my leader shared with the team that day. It’s by Greg Holden, and it’s called “Hold On Tight”, and features the following lyrics:

“I’ve been waking up tight, day after day.

Hope is taking it’s time to go my way

But I won’t take my life for granted.

I’m going to hold on tight to what I’ve been handed.

I’ll try not to complain about the things I’ve lost

Because when you’ve got something great that just means there’s a greater loss.

So when you look at yourself tell me who do you see?

Is it the person you’ve been or the person that you’re gonna be?

I won’t take my life for granted.

I’m going to hold on tight to what I’ve been handed”.

The fact of the matter is that this life - and the opportunity to lead others - is an incredible gift. There are those on earth who would give anything for the chance to have a positive impact on the lives of others like leaders have. Your life is a gift. And if you choose to apply yourself to your leadership practice, your life isn’t just a gift for you - it’s a gift for everyone you engage with. That’s a gift well worth giving, in our opinion, and it’s one we’ll need to give freely in the disruptive times ahead. So don’t take it for granted - as Greg Holden says, hold on tight to what you’ve been handed, so you can share it freely and make this world a bit better today than it was when we showed up.

We hope you enjoy this little shot of sunshine and music into your work week. I fully recognize that posting song lyrics to social media was pretty en vogue in the days of MySpace, and that a professional organization doing something similar in 2024 is a bit unusual. Just remember we’re doing this to get you to think about your leadership, not to passively aggressively accuse Samantha of holding Brendan’s hand at 9th grade spare via some Dashboard Confessional poetry. You aren’t going to see Deloitte or MNP do stuff like this, but our consulting firm is cut from a different cloth, and we’re OK with that.

It might be unusual, but it’s at least it's "Authentik".

Thanks for reading, and we’ll see you next Sunday.