Today’s Sunday story is a day late - we’re all fighting an awful cold in our household, a souvenir from our trip; perhaps it’s the reminder of mortality brought to bear by even minor ill-health that has inspired this week’s tale. It’s a story, but the story is intended to teach a lesson: Live your life - and lead your people - in a way that will make sure your funeral is as joyful as an Irish one.
Growing up, my only visits to Ireland were for funerals - and they were confusing. I was just a kid, but I remember getting dressed up and knowing we were saying goodbye to one of my Granny’s or my Granpa’s, and like any funeral, these were certainly sad at first - saying goodbye to loved ones always was. But then there was this weird coalescing of loved ones at the local pub right after. This in itself wasn’t that unusual - growing up, Sunday church was often accompanied by Sunday brunch at a local restaurant before we all went home, after all, so the idea of going somewhere together afterwards wasn’t that strange to me.
But then a pre-noon Brunch just kept going and going, into the early evening and soon late night..
At some point, a half-pint of apple cider landed in my 12-year old hands (maybe more than one, truth be told)
Then the music started.
Instead of sitting around crying and being sad, with as much organic naturalness as the growing grass or the sun rising, a party began. Sobs of mourning were replaced with stories of the recently departed, giving rare insight into the life of my grandparents for the bits I overheard. Flowing tears were replaced with belly laughs of joy as folks remembered particularly fond memories. The party was always raucous enough to wake the dead - which is apparently why they call them a Wake; diseases that used to sweep the countryside would sometimes give a person the appearance of death, so they’d throw a party to wake them up. It often worked.
Of course, unless you know an Irish person, you won’t get to see a wake (certainly not your own - you’ll be there, but miss it still!), but in the age of YouTube, we can get you close. The first story I want to tell you is one of Shane McGowan, the lead singer of the Pogues, a band perhaps most famous (especially this time of year) for their hit, Fairytale of New York. Shane passed away young - he was only 65 and passed from complications from Pneumonia. Hailing from the land of poets, in county Tipperary, Shane was an iconic Irish musician. In the weeks leading to his death, he was visited by everyone from Bono and The Edge of U2 to the President of Ireland, and when he finally decided to move on to what’s next, his casket received a procession that travelled from Dublin to Nenagh. His funeral was open to all who wished to wish him well.
Below is a video of Glen Hansard and a “whose who” of Irish musicians celebrating Shane’s life. But don’t just look at the musicians - look at the attendees. Singing, Dancing, Smiling - Does that look like a typical funeral to you?
Again - life your life in a way that makes sure your funeral is as joyful as an Irish one.
One more example, this one less famous in case anyone suspected that Mr. McGowan got some special treatment. Here’s a story of the wake of a Mr. Ger “Farmer’ Foley, of Killorglin, County Kerry. His dear friend Brian O’Sullivan felt that The Killers “Mr. Brightside” would be an apt way to send his friend off - and so he sends him, with all the love and energy one can muster (and then some) in a tiny pub called Falvey’s.
It’s easy to say “Live your life in a way that makes sure your funeral is as joyful as an Irish one” - but how do you do that? And what’s it got to do with leadership?
Everything, in my opinion.
We’re all going to die. That’s a fact that is as true as any, and that truth is responsible for another fact: if we are truly lucky we all get around 80-90 years on this pale blue dot we call home. Some people dedicate that time to being in leadership roles. Some of them are even actual leaders, and not just managers that have been promoted to the level of competence. When the Man with the Scythe comes from you, what is your story going to have been?
Is it going to be about the dollars you returned to shareholders?
Is it going to be about how many KPIs you made your team hit, even though it meant you had to be hard on them and had a bunch quit along the way?
Probably not. Because the shareholders don’t care about you, really. They aren’t telling YOUR story - they are telling theirs, and when they brag about those returns, I can almost guarantee you that your name doesn’t come up. The KPIs don’t really matter either - because those lines on a shared document or fancy looking dashboard don’t tell a story either - they are inanimate - but those people who worked with you along the way will, and if you prioritized those KPIs over the humans you were leading, guess what kind of story they will tell?
This isn’t about being liked. This is about being decent and consistent. So how can you make sure your funeral has the joy of an Irish one?
Decide what you are about, and go do it. What is your purpose - not why you have a job. What is the reason for your life on earth? This isn’t something that will be given to you - it’s something you have to decide, deep down, and it can change over time - but once you’ve landed on that purpose, it sets you up to ensure that the way you are living your life - how you are spending your precious time - aligns with that purpose.
What actions do you take every day to fulfill that purpose? Many leaders already have a sense of purpose - it’s what drives them to do what they do - but they don’t often clearly articulate it to themselves or others. Do this, and do it often. How can you figure out what your purpose is? Begin with the end in mind. What do you want people to be saying at your funeral? What do you want your story to be? Because that is the story you are writing right now, every day.
This isn’t just good advice for leaders and humans - it’s good advice for organizations too. Leadership isn’t about you - it’s about the people around you. By embracing your purpose, communicating it, and acting in a way that is consistent with that purpose, you become predictable in a very good way - the people you lead KNOW what you are about, and therefore have some level of trust that you will act in a way that is consistent with that purpose. This is fundamental to trust - the more our people can reasonably predict what we will do in a given situation, because they know our values and character, the more they will trust you to act that way in the future. The more they trust you, the safer they will feel, and the safer they feel the more likely they are to flourish. Flourishing people result in flourishing teams and organizations, every time.
Being a good human-centric leader isn’t just good for you - it’s good business, good for communities, and good for the world we are all responsible for. And if you do it well, no matter your culture, when your turn comes to follow Shane McGowan and Farmer Foley into whatever’s next, folks will be remembering you with a smile, maybe a song, and a whole lotta love - and that is a good impression to leave on this earth.
Go n-éirí libh, and we’ll see you next Sunday.
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